The Cricket Bat is a device used most frequently in the so-called "chocolate dance", performed by the inmat… err, inhabitants of the #hants IRC channel. The dance usually requires three people, although more can be used in extreme cases. One person (the "patient") is distracted temporarily by a second, who holds some chocolate. The part of the chocolate-wielder is generally the most dangerous part to play in the dance, and should only be attempted by trained professionals. The third and subsequent people in the dance take advantage of the patient's momentary distraction to approach them from behind carrying the cricket bat, which is used to subdue them with unimaginable violence for a brief while, until they can be put in the "special" jacket.

Note that the cricket bat may also be used as a general-purpose LART, or occasionally for playing cricket.

There are a number of different cricket bats that may be used – the "vanilla" or ordinary cricket bat; the "extra-large" for stubborn cases; the "special" bat with the iron spikes in the end; and there is even the multi-purpose cricket bat, with optional pitchfork or spade heads, and attachments for playing croquet; opening wine bottles, beer bottles or locked cars; and taking stones out of thomas_adam's hoofs.

It has been suggested that, in the rare case of the absence of a skilled wielder of the bat, the #hants IRC channels should have a cricket bot to assume the essential functions more normally performed by HugoMills.

CricketBat (last edited 2009-01-23 19:50:50 by 195)